Going to a women's retreat alone

The most common thing women tell me before booking is some version of this: I want to come, but I'd be coming alone. They say it like it's a problem to solve. After hosting retreats for a decade, I can tell you it's the normal way to arrive. About half of every group walks in without knowing a single person.

The other half arrive with a friend and spend the first day slightly relieved they did. By the second morning, the difference has usually dissolved.

The first hour is the hardest

Arriving alone means the first hour is on you. You find your room, work out where to put your bag, and decide whether to join the women already talking on the deck or busy yourself with your phone for a bit. Everyone does some version of this. The women who came with a friend do it too, just with someone to whisper to.

What helps is that the structure starts quickly. Within a few hours there's a welcome circle, and everyone says their name and a sentence or two about why they came. The sentences are almost always honest, because there's no one in the room you have to perform for. That's the strange gift of arriving solo: nobody knows your usual role, so you don't have to play it.

What the days look like when you came by yourself

Meals happen at one long table, so there's no question of where to sit or who to eat with. You sit down, and the conversation finds you. Sessions are optional, so you can join the morning yoga or sleep through it, and nobody keeps score. In the afternoons there's the pool, the sauna, the property to wander, or a massage if you've booked one.

If you book a shared room, you'll have one roommate. Every room has its own bathroom, and the women who share usually end up in late-night conversations they'd never have had at home. If you want your own space, the private rooms exist for exactly that reason, and plenty of solo guests choose them.

If you're quiet by nature

You don't need to be the woman who talks in circle. Some women say very little all weekend and tell me afterwards that it was the first time in years they felt part of something without having to perform. Listening counts. Resting counts. Disappearing for an afternoon walk counts.

The part nobody expects

Women who arrived alone leave with phone numbers, shared playlists and plans to carpool to the next one. I've watched it happen at every retreat I've hosted. Something about four days of real conversation, shared meals and no roles to play compresses years of friendship into a long weekend.

Practical things worth knowing

• About half the room arrives solo, at every retreat, every time.
• Shared rooms mean one roommate, and every room has its own bathroom.
• Every session is optional, including the circles.
• The full schedule stays a secret until you arrive, so there's nothing to plan.

Elementa Women's Retreat runs from 26 February to 1 March 2027 at BlueGreen Sanctuary in the Byron Bay hinterland. Residential and non-residential places are available, and the rooms, inclusions and current prices are on the retreat page.